Morrison Bowmore Distillers Limited
Springburn Bond, Carlisle St.
Glasgow, Scotland G21 1EQ

August 5th, 2001

Dear Sir Or Madam,


     I have been a drinker of your fine Scotch for many years. Whenever I am able to choose want brand of Scotch I drink, I look no further than Morrison Bowmore.

     I have a bit of a problem I was hoping you could help me with. Although I drink a lot of your Scotch, I find that I do not have a high tolerance for it. I find that I get drunk very fast off it. Normally, such an occurrence would be considered an advantage (and save me money), but I have found myself in a situation where it is a flaw.

     An associate of mine has challenged my name and drinking ability. He wishes to have a drinking competition with me. Although I have tried to avoid such immature challenges, I find myself in a position where I can not say "no". The challenger has been slandering my name and destroying my reputation.

     I was hoping that your distillery could fill one of your bottles with Iced Tea and seal it. This way, my opponent will think I am drinking pure Scotch and I should have no trouble winning.

     I will be in Glasgow in late September. I would be more than willing to pick it up directly from your distillery and pay for any costs that exceed normal bottling practice. I have been able to depend on your Scotch to get me through troubled times, and now I hope your distillery can offer me similar assistance.

     0Please write back to me and inform me of your concerns on this matter. I am sure some sort of agreement can be made. Fear not, if this letter fails to reach you (through the postal system), I am prepared to mail another.

I anticipate your reply,
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FPA. Chico Inc.