General Mills, Inc.,
Number One General Mills Blvd.,
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55426,
Attn: Consumer Services.
May 31st 2004
Dear General Mills:
I use a multitude of your products and practically raise my six year old son on your food.
I recently came home to find a kitchen covered in half thawed peas and cookie dough. In some case, the two had been merged into what I can only call a hybrid pea-cookie (sounds like peacock, doesn’t it). When I questioned him about what had happened, he looked me right in the eyes and lied to me. He said the Pillsbury Dough Boy and the Green Giant had an altercation, and were fighter with one another. At some part, the violence escalated to a knife fight. Noticing how they were hurting one another (they were bleeding peas and dough), my son pleaded with them to stop. When his request went unfulfilled, he had the sudden brilliant idea to cook the two products together and make a truce/peace offering to them. Apparently it worked, and the two skipped off holding hands.
I told him that such a thing never happened; that it was absolutely impossible because I was having lunch with the two of them the whole time. In fact, we had gone on a tour of your factory (which has Willy Wonka’s ostensible tenacity) during the entire duration that he claims this event happened. Could you please write me a letter back confirming this for him? I want to teach him that lying is wrong, no matter what the circumstances. I know he will come clean when I show him your letter proving the rendez-vous they had with me.
Yours in waiting,
NAME USED |
