THIS LETTER SHOULD REALLY BE CALLED HONDA1 SINCE I SENT IT OUT BEFORE THE PREVIOUS HONDA LETTER. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I ASKED THEM FOR A FREE CAR (WITHOUT A BIRTHDAY EXCUSE)

March 20th , 2001

American Honda Motor Company, Inc.
Customer Relations
1919 Torrance Blvd.
Mailstop 100-1C-3A
Torrance, CA 90501

Dear Sir or Madam:

I have made the error of lying to my friends about being an owner of a Honda vehicle. They have been asking me to pick them up in my fully loaded CR-V, but I obviously can’t because I do not own this car. Upon their first requests, I used the excuse that my car was in the detailing shop, and was having carpet put in. I also said that I had specialized ‘shot glass’ holders put into the car for when I carry around my shot glasses.
I would like a Honda CR-V, fully loaded. I would like this for free. Care to give it to me? It would help me out a lot.
I have always brought up to believe that if you ask someone nicely, and explain your case, they will understand and help out.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. If this has been sent to the wrong department, please forward it to the appropriate extension.

Yours pleadingly,

name used

Marc C. Horton

c/o Honda National Consumer Affairs

1919 Torrance Boulevard
Torrance, California
90501-2746

                                                                                                                                 May 2nd, 2001

Dear Marc,

                I am writing you back in regards to the letter you sent to me (dated March 21st, 2001). I had originally sent you a letter requesting a car from your company. I have attached another copy of my original letter for quick reference.
                In your reply to me, you asked me to phone your company within 7 days to discuss my concerns. As much as I would like this matter handled quickly, I am only able to contact your office through letters. I am a member of a religion (Mithraism) that requires me to go through ‘technological fasts’. Currently, I am required to fast from most modern communicative devices such as telephones or computers. My previous technological fasting period demanded that I abstain from any modern travelling devices (such as automobiles), and I made it through the period with only my legs as transportation. Now that that period has passed, I am able to drive a car from your company. This current period of abstinence lasts for another year, so any attempt I make to contact you through phone would far exceed the “7 day deadline” you gave me.
                As I outlined in my previous letter, I have made the error of lying to my friends about ownership of a Honda C-RV. It is unfortunate that my religion does not inhibit the use of lying (otherwise this scenario could have been well avoided). If you could review my original letter once more and please respond to me, via the postal service, it would not only be a favor to me, but a great gesture towards all Mithra followers. 
                There is also one other matter I wish to discuss: the seven-day limit you placed on my previous letter. When does the seven days start? Is it Seven days from my original letter, Seven days from your reply, or Seven days from my receiving your reply? I was unsure as to the actual ‘cut-off’ point of my letter. If you could please let me know in your reply to me, it would ease the confusion.

Yours truly,

NAME USED

ps. Please do not forget the specialty items I asked for in my previous letter.