HYATT REGENCY
LAKE TAHOE, NEVADA

November 13th 2002

Dear Hyatt Hotel:

I am planning on visiting your lodge in late November and wish to know if you could properly accommodate me. I would need a room with a single bed, preferably in the non-smoking rooms.

There is also a personal matter a wish to discuss with you. I am going to be travelling with one of my best friends. This past New Years Evening, he lost a very substantial bet to me. The conditions of his losing cause him to be my personal slave for a year. These means he has to attend to my every need, and perform any task I present him.

When I travel around with him, I have him carry me most places. He will either sling me over his shoulder, or he have me cradled in his arms. Also, while in the casino itself, he will place any and all bets for me (do not worry, we are well over twenty-one). I shall remain in my room, while he communicates with me through a walkie-talkie.  For my personal entertainment, I wish him to ride down your staircase while in a sleeping bag. It would be like riding down a hill in a toboggan (only more painful). If any of your staff feels so inclined, they may join him and have a race (I would find it very entertaining). So please, let me know if you have a "grand staircase", or if I will have to rely on the emergency exit stairwell.

One other thing; I wish him to be ignored at all times. By this, I mean, I wish to have your personal not ackowledge his presence. Only the dealers at each table are allowed to acknowledge his presence (for my betting purposes). He will have a sign on him that clearly states that he is not to be paid attention to.

 If you can think of any other task for him to do, please feel free with suggesting it. Besides being dressed in the most unflattering wardrobe of my choice, I don’t feel that his actions will be too distracting for the other guests.

Could you please send me a letter back on the availability of rooms for that date? If you require further information from me, or a credit card number, let me know. Also, please include a room service menu (if you can). I wish to make my friend my personal cook for the trip, and he has to cook me whatever I like from your room service list (don’t worry, we don’t need your kitchen, we have a camping stove).

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

NAME USED